Chester Bennington. What a great man! I can still remember standing in mud which oozed over the top of my wellies as I watched him in concert. I can remember how I didn’t pay much attention to the mud because Chester had the kind of voice which caused you to forget that you had been standing in the pouring rain for hours. I love Linkin Park and they gave me such wonderful childhood memories.
So as you can imagine, I was just as confused and as shocked as everyone else when I heard that he had succumbed to his inner demons and put an end to his life.
First world problems
I walked into work when the news broke out and one of my colleagues said, ‘God, all that money, a Playboy bunny wife and all his fans loved him? I don’t get it. I would have been so happy.’
I found myself agreeing with him for a second. Most of us have probably thought about the idea that a lottery win might sort out our problems. Well, I’m afraid that mental illnesses simply don’t give a shit who you are or what you have. Anyone can suffer from a mental illness and Ferraris, mansions and fame will do nothing to plug the hole which many feel gaping in their hearts. Tragically, some people will get to the point where the pain is so hard to live with that they may simply not want to continue living at all.
Living with mental pain
Suicidal feelings often arise when the pain, the situation, the guilt, the shame is so big that a person feels a need to make it stop. They may begin to see nothing but an ugly future in which the issues and the feelings that they have in the now, are still there.
People around them will mutter empty nothings, that everything will be okay, that things will get better and to stop being so silly. They mean well but these words will fall upon deaf ears, because that person in the fog of a mental illness cannot see through the thickly cloying mists which swirl and close around them. They simply cannot see a way out.
There is a better way
The problem with suicide is that it’s the most permanent solution to a temporary problem. There’s no come-back, no room for second thoughts and no room for buyer’s remorse. Mostly.
Studies of those who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, and somehow survived, show that every single one of them regretted their decision as they plummeted towards the water. All of them experienced an overwhelming desire to live.
Of course, you don’t have to be rich and famous. I was working with a client, quite recently, who felt the very same way. She believed that her life had reached the point of no return and that only the gaping maw of a silent grave could swallow and remove her pain.
It wasn’t, I’m glad to say, true at all.
Thankfully, she reached out to me instead, and I took her hand, helping her find her feet on the path which – step by step – led to her recovery. She learned that tiny but significant actions began to restore her faith in her own ability to shape her life. She wasn’t merely a passive victim of circumstance. She had power and control.
She re-learned how to feel connected to the people around her and how to re-forge her relationship with life. Her wounds healed, her heart recovered and eventually her mind followed suit.
She’s now living happily with a new partner. Life is full of hope and those dreadful, dark days stand firmly in her past. I’m proud of her achievements and am proud to have played my part.
Please don’t give up. Hypnotherapy, psychotherapy and all sorts of talking services can help.
If you need more information, you're worried about someone or you need to talk, then please call 07525051263.